So, Celestine linked me to Scott Pakin's Complaint Generator
http://www.pakin.org/complaint/: it's a randomly-generated complaint letter where you input a name. In light of recent event's I had Mr. Pakin write one to Mr. R/Minecraft Mod. Bear in mind that it in no way represent my personal views; I simply found it too funny not to share.
Disclaimer: the following in no way represents the views of u/Captain_Mayday, also know as Nicholas, also known as the Ruler of Hermertia. Any resemblances to real persons, living or deceased, are purely coincidental. Here in case r/minecraft finds us. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am writing this letter purely in the spirit of uplifting and sharing, as corny and dated as those sentiments may sound in the fast-moving and ever-evolving modern techno-plastic times in which we live. Primarily, I want to share with you my view that Mr. R/minecraft Mod's callous, cold-blooded greed leads him to use threats of fiscal harm to coerce refractory, socially inept paranoiacs into increasing alienation and delinquency among our young people. In the first place, he has anger-management issues. Think about it, and I'm sure you'll agree with me.
Listen up: Mr. Mod's raucous sermons are intended to rot out the minds of all freedom-loving, free-thinking people. Once that's accomplished, he can replace such people with compliant, Mr. Mod-controlled, and, above all, obedient robots who would never think to take up the all-encompassing challenge of freedom, justice, equality, and the pursuit of life with full dignity. These automata will pooh-pooh the reams of solid evidence pointing to the existence and operation of a jejune coterie of Marxism in the near future. The underlying message is that you might say, “His language consists largely of euphemism, question-begging, and sheer, cloudy vagueness.” Fine, I agree. But the cast-off ideas of debunked philosophy on which he has based most of his fastuous surmises do tell us one thing. They tell us that my sources tell me that Mr. Mod intends to declare martial law, suspend elections, and round up dissidents (i.e., anyone who does not buy his lie that he understands the difference between civilization and savagery) sooner or later. Not on my watch! I am therefore calling upon all good citizens to tear down his fortress of cameralism.
One of the bewildering paradoxes of our time is the extent to which Mr. Mod is willing to stir up trouble, especially given that he himself would be affected by such actions. His piteous, intellectually challenged prevarications have caused mindless fussbudgets to descend upon us like a swarm of locusts, cementing the foundation of our currently metastasizing police state into the law of the land. Mr. Mod is capable of only two things, namely whining and underhanded tricks. He always looks the other way when one of his apple-polishers gets it in his head to put political correctness ahead of scientific rigor. Apparently, the principle laid down by Jean-Marie Collot d'Herbois during the French Reign of Terror still holds true today: Tout est permis à quiconque agit dans le sens de la révolution. Finally, any mistakes in this letter are strictly my fault. But if you find any factual error or have more updated information on the subject of Mr. R/minecraft Mod, Mr. Mod-inspired versions of communism, etc., please tell me so I can write an even stronger letter next time.
