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PostPosted: August 22nd, 2015, 8:57 pm 
Hello people! I've been thinking about what my application to Hermertia should be, and in Science Fiction Honors class (an awesome new class offered at my school) we read a short story, Ursula Le Guin's "The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas," and I immediately thought of Hermertia, and I decided I would base my lore off of it. You don't have to read the short story, as I will include all the context you need here, but I recommend you do - the amazingly happy and disturbingly sad parts of the story are both very touching. Anyway, here goes:

---

To whom it may concern in Hermertia:

I am Snoutmol II, and I was born in the city of Omelas, where I spent all my life until now. I have left Omelas, and, during my exile, I have learned from many fellow wanderers that Omelas is considered a myth and a legend, and that it doesn't even exist. I bring with me proof, however, that it does exist; let me tell you about it and Omelas.

Omelas is a beautiful and thriving city where everyone is happy all the time. The city only keeps technologies whose pros greatly outweigh the cons, and, although drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity are all permitted, and not even looked down upon in the slightest, they are unnecessary to provide the public with happiness, and thus they are rarely used. The population is ecstatic all the time, making music, playing sports, and marching in parades.

Did I say that everyone was happy? Oh, that was a mistake. There is one person who is never happy. It is a young child locked in the broom closet of a basement of one of Omelas's beautiful buildings. It sits in its excrement, lives off only corn meal and grease, and, whenever people visit it to feed it or just take a curious and disgusted look at it, it is a rule that they cannot speak to it. In its condition it has become malnourished, diseased, dimwitted, and its ability to speak has degenerated - it begs to be let out less and less often.

Why is this child there? Because, for Omelas to prosper and be happy, and for everyone to be happy all the time, there has to be one, horribly suffering being, so that, by relativity, people will see and be grateful for what they have. The richness of Omelas would be impossible without it.

The children of Omelas are admitted to see it when they are around 9 to 15. All are terrified and disturbed; most, however, manage to push the image out of their mind and never visit the child again; but the few, myself included, abandon the whole city of Omelas in disgust.

They take a long walk, they keep walking out of Omelas, and they disappear forever. On my 16th birthday, when I was admitted to see the suffering child, I was disgusted with Omelas and I became one of those migrants. Unlike the others before me, however, I took the child with me. I asked to see the child again, and, when the guard unlocked the child's small room, I knocked the guard out, dragged him into the room, picked up the child, and left, locking the guard in the room.

I cradled the small, malnourished child, hiding it in a blanket, while I walked out of Omelas. "Who are you?" it asked me. "Are you god?" Since I left Omelas, I have been wandering, staying, temporarily, in small towns and old shacks with the child.

The child, whom I've named Ursula (she's a girl) after the creator of Omelas, is simple, sweet, timid, innocent, and she has been overjoyed walking around with me through crappy neighborhoods. She also has horrible, screaming nightmares, randomly bursts into tears, and sometimes develops obsessions with random objects and stares at them. As I write, she's holding and staring at a black rock she found. She looks 6 but she is probably older.

I think that if she has a nice home, she will be saved from her horrible upbringing. I want to find a home like that in Hermertia. If I am granted into Hermertia, I will immediately begin construction on a house for her there. It would be great, however, if my benefactor, my liege, already has a nice home where she can stay. This will all be temporary. One of my goals is to rebuild the city of Omelas, with all its beauty I've known, but without a suffering child, where Ursula can live and regain her childhood.

Thank you for your consideration,

Snoutmol II and Ursula

P.S. If there is not room for us in Hermertia, that is okay; you will not be committing an ethical crime. We will find a good place to live regardless, although we would really love that place to be Hermertia. ;)

---

Thank you for reading my app. I look forward to comments, requests, and suggestions.


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PostPosted: August 22nd, 2015, 9:17 pm 
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Joined: May 30th, 2015, 5:52 pm
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Hi sir! As you have already heard my standard introductory spiel for new applicants (concerning links to the FAQ and whatnot), I won't repeat it here. So let's jump straight into your new lore:

A somber and dark story, but interesting indeed to be sure. You may have heard tell of other newcomers to Hermertia recently; many have traveled here from mysterious realms far to the south of our great Border Mountains. These are lands which we know nothing of, save for the occasional whisper or rumor that reaches us. It boggles the mind that one such unknown land could have resorted to such incredible measures to preserve an illusion of joy; but it does not defy imagination.

I look forward to learning more about your journey! How long have you traveled to have come upon the gates of the Mercurian Empire? Can you tell us more of your upbringing in this strange city? What of others before you who have left, never to be heard from again?

[Lore Off] I am glad you have reapplied, sir! A solid start. Though our guidelines disapprove of taking the plot of a book or movie, in my opinion at least what you have done here by taking inspiration from a lesser-known work has worked pretty well. I look forward to learning some more in the vein of my questions above, and am excited to see the progression of this new application. While you will in all likelihood have an uphill battle, as members of the community will find it hard to refocus their sentiments on a new application after reading your first one, every new post from you is added material for us to consider.

((Science fiction honors? Sounds cool! Where is this offered? aha))

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PostPosted: August 23rd, 2015, 3:15 pm 
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Joined: May 30th, 2015, 12:45 pm
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Ave,

Snountmol, I'm interested to hear more about your character. It must have been an arduous journey to Hermertia at such a young age and with a child to care for. Has such strain affected your appearance? (Most people have their own custom skins).

What are your intentions within Hermertia - presumably after rebuilding Omelas? Do you intend to eventually own land yourself independently or are you trying to find an established realm to contribute to?


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PostPosted: August 23rd, 2015, 5:05 pm 
Quote:
Though our guidelines disapprove of taking the plot of a book or movie, in my opinion at least what you have done here by taking inspiration from a lesser-known work has worked pretty well.

I am disappointed that I already violated those guidelines. I hoped I could've gotten it right the second time around! But, yes, it is a lesser-known work, and it sounds like the rule is soft and like their can be exceptions. Nevertheless, I will work to diverge my own lore from the story, so that it will be original and my own. Also, I will try to make the character Ursula less disturbing, because I cannot afford controversy.

---

To whom it may concern in Hermertia:

First I must admit to you that my plan to rebuild Omeras was unrealistic. I could never replicate that city's beauty, even though I lived in it for 16 years, with my building skills. Also, a beautiful city is not entirely what Ursula needs - more than that she needs social interaction and friends.

As has happened countless times, she woke from one of her nightmares, breathing rapidly, screaming, "Why won't you listen to me? Why won't you listen to me?" I held her arm, sat up, and looked down at her. "I'm listening! What do you want me to hear? I'm listening. Everyone will listen to you from now on." She paused, staring at me, in enormous relief, and then started crying. She cried until she fell back asleep, into another nightmare. She needs more people who will listen to her.

I recently ran into someone who I knew from Omelas. His name is Antontus, and he left Omelas about two years before me. I didn't recognize him, but he said, "Holy . . ." and he walked over to me, pointing at Ursula, saying, "Is that . . . Is that . . . ?" "Yes," I said, nodding my head and rolling my eyes. "This is Ursula. She's really friendly." Ursula hid behind my back, shaking. But the two did eventually warm up to each other.

The three of us were sitting at a table at a bakery, eating bread. (Did I mention how much Ursula likes food? She crams it in her mouth quickly and mumbles about how it's the best thing ever. Her appetite was small at first but it's quickly growing larger.)

"I can't believe it," said Antontus. "I didn't have the guts to do that but I thought about it of course. I figured that if I saved that one kid, they'd just find some other poor kid to replace him."

"That's what I thought, too, for a while," I said. "It's a weird story."

"Tell me your weird story," said Antontus.

"I found out she's a witch, so she can't easily be replaced."

"Ohhh," said Antontus. "How'd you find that out?"

"That's the weird story," I said. "I was taking an alchemy class, and myself and a group of others threw some invisibility potions into the sewer ditch outside of town, just for fun. Most of the waste turned invisible, as expected, but one blob floated up and started rising into the sky."

"Levitation?" said Antontus.

"Yes," I said. "The, er, waste already had some potion effects in it, so it responded differently to our addition of an invisibility potion."

"How did you deduce that this came from the child Ursula?"

"I was already suspicious is had come from her, so I traced her waste, following a volunteer who had taken it from her room and brought it to the waste ditch."

"And after tracing that bucket of waste, you poured another invisibility potion on it, and it floated?" asked Antontus.

"It actually started jumping up and down," I said.

"Huh," said Antontus. He turned to Ursula. "Yer a wizard, Ursula," he said.

"Yeah, ever since I left, really, I've been living here in Bakersville," said Antontus. "I built a real small farm, and I've been selling my produce to this bakery. The bakery is basically the central part of the town. There are trade routes, going both east and west of it, where a mysterious guy, always silent and wearing all black, takes some of the baker's stock in bulk, treks off, and sells it. How have things been in Omelas?"

"It's been about a month since I left," I answered. "During that time, I, too, have found nothing too interesting in these boondocks."

---

Sorry, I'm kind of just freewriting with no plan, and I'm not sure how well I'm answering your questions:
Quote:
How long have you traveled to have come upon the gates of the Mercurian Empire? Can you tell us more of your upbringing in this strange city? What of others before you who have left, never to be heard from again? . . . It must have been an arduous journey to Hermertia at such a young age and with a child to care for. Has such strain affected your appearance? What are your intentions within Hermertia - presumably after rebuilding Omelas? Do you intend to eventually own land yourself independently or are you trying to find an established realm to contribute to?

As I've said, I probably won't rebuild Omelas. I'm interested in finding an established realm to contribute to. I could work with Ursula to make potions in a potion house. Also, I could be a miner: I have an idea for an automated smelting system, minecart rail system, and multi-level mineshaft that could bring huge productivity to any mine. Also, I'm interested in building automated farms, for sugar cane, cactus, and even monsters. I like building functional things in Minecraft, and I have a little aesthetic taste to not make them too much of an eyesore.

---

"I've missed Omelas," I said to Antontus. "I miss the pool, the parades, the music, the sports, the fireworks, the art. Traveling through these empty towns, I never knew how spoiled I was."

"It's unfortunate . . ." said Antontus, staring into the distance.

"I've kept with me a few stacks of emeralds, but they're running low, and soon I'll have to settle down to work like you have."

"I'm basically a slave to this baker," said Antontus. "I wish I'd run into a nicer community."

"That I have!" I said to Antontus proudly. "I ran into a group of Kairatites-"

"The pale creatures?"

"Yes," I said. "And they said they were traveling to a great empire - the Mercurian Empire. It's just north of here, they said. We will have to hike a long distance, and then climb over some mountains, to reach it. I have already sent a letter, informing the Mercurians of my future arrival."

"I'd like to accompany you," said Antontus.

"Done!" I said.

---

Again, I'm not sure how well I've answered your questions. Most of the ones I did answer, I answered something like, "Oh, that was not a problem I had." This was unintentional. I'll try to address the questions you've already asked in the future. In the meantime I'll post what I've got . . .


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PostPosted: August 26th, 2015, 4:03 am 
TO THE MERCURIAN EMPIRE:

GREETINGS, NOBLEMEN OF THE MERCURIAN EMPIRE. THE GOLDEN HORDE WILL BE ARRIVING WITHIN YOUR BORDERS SHORTLY. THE GOLDEN HORDE IS A FOR-PROFIT GROUP DEDICATED TO THE TRANSPORTATION AND DISTRIBUTION OF EFFECTIVE LABOR FORCES. ABRIDGED LIST OF AVAILABLE PRODUCTS:
    STRONG CAUCASIAN MALE, 16 YRS
    STRONG CAUCASIAN MALE, 21 YRS
    STRONG, SENSUAL ALBINO ("KAIRATITE") FEMALE, 20 YRS
SLAVES ACCOMPANIED BY HOSTAGES (BABY GIRL, 6 YRS) FOR NEGOTIATION PURPOSES. WE LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR BUSINESS.

SIGNED,
THE GOLDEN HORDE

---

hey, I'm the guy who send you all those letters (you remember?) I'm Snoutmol II. I've been captured and will be arriving in Hermertia as a slave. Ursula and Antontus are with me. I hope this letter reaches the Hermertian public. Please help.
It is said by my captors that I will be made to mine gold for any of the kings of Hermertia who will accept me. Do Hermertians even keep slaves?? I thought that wasn't legal here???
I really want to be purchased in Hermertia, so I don't have to stay with these lunatics!! Cost seems to be very steep unfortunately, only something a few kings ([LORE OFF] maybe 3 ;) ;) ;)) together could afford. I promise if you purchase Antontus, Ursula, and I, I will work hard and more than make up for the expense! will work hard for those savior kings...
Or you could get physical and attack this nasty bunch called the golden horde...


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PostPosted: August 28th, 2015, 11:27 pm 
Dear Simon

There's a barb in my heart
Sometimes it tears me apart
There's no way to get it out
Deep and irremovable
Is that barb to which I am helplessly devout

He tells me that I'm adorable
But that I must have lost my way
While alone in an inconceivable
state, enveloped for more than just the rainy days

This barb is here within me
This barb is here to stay
It turns my lovers into locusts
And my body into trees
I am helpless
And I am attacked by killer bees

"Why won't you stay with me?"
It's because he's free
He can gather the fruit from wherever he pleases
Away from the branches of this poisonous tree

"Simon, I love you, please stay"
Alone, on my bed I lay down and I pray:
"Please bring him back to me someday"

When he returns
Eight nights later
I cry then I show him how much my heart burns
Inside is a razor
He kisses my cuts and combs my hair
He looks concerned and pretends to care
He takes off my clothes and in the morning he's gone

Simon!
I love you
But I'm broken
And I just can't hold on

-Ursula

Hello Hermertia. It's been a while - a dozen years, I believe. Ursula is now a teenager. I'm concerned about her. She has emotional problems and she gets taken advantage of.

A number of years ago we were all captured by the golden horde, a slaver group. I don't know if you got my letter about that. Well, we escaped. Ursula helped with that. She used her magical witch abilities. If you want to hear more about that I can tell you; it's an interesting story.

Currently, Antontus, Ursula and I are living in the wilderness. We're close to a town though, where Ursula goes to school. She has a fast horse that she spends a lot of time with and that she uses to get to school. The horse's name is Simon. That's also the name of the boy she likes. Simon (the boy) is funny and nice, and I can see why people like him, but his relationship with Ursula is completely inappropriate. Whenever I can, I keep Ursula away from him.

The three of us are still interested in moving to Hermertia. I may begin addressing my letters to key individuals in Hermertia, as my open, public letters have sometimes garnered no response.

Right now out the window I can see Ursula nuzzling and kissing Simon's snout. She loves that horse. I think Antontus is doing some logging. We would all love to move to Hermertia, and we beseech you to aid in this process.

---

[LORE OFF] I know I said I wouldn't share personal info, but I started writing that poem after school while I was crying because an amazing girl rejected me, and I don't see her a lot this school year but whenever I do see her, just in the distance talking excitedly to everyone, I can't help but feel really sad; she's a barb in my heart that will never come out. I didn't know where I was going to put the poem - I was just writing it - and then I realized I could post it here, adapted to Ursula.

Nicholas, my high school is a public school and its mascot is cougars, but I won't share the city I live in. It's a good school. I wanted to get into another, even better school, which was also public, but MY APPLICATION WASN'T F-ING GOOD ENOUGH.

At this point if I get into Hermertia it'll be like I just got accepted to a prestigious college.

Thank you for your consideration,

Max


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PostPosted: August 29th, 2015, 4:09 am 
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Joined: May 30th, 2015, 5:52 pm
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Hi Sir,

Taking into account the commitment you have shown in your application, I would like to extend you my vote.

If you've followed along with the description of the application process, you'll know that a Ducal vote is effective when combined with a majority of the dukes to pass a Ducal Bill, lowering required kingly votes from 4 to 3. As such, you have a long road still ahead; as to whether my personal decision to extend you a vote will cause others to do the same, I have no idea whatsoever. It is certainly possible that my vote will not be followed by others; as we've discussed, it's the plurality of the community that ends up deciding an application.

As per standard, I am creating a Ducal bill in the House of Dukes where, if they chose to do so, other dukes can cast their vote.

Good luck!

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PostPosted: August 29th, 2015, 10:24 pm 
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Snoutmol wrote:
Ursula helped with that. She used her magical witch abilities. If you want to hear more about that I can tell you; it's an interesting story.


I would like to hear more!

Interesting poem thou buddy, if I were you I'd continue to add to this application thread and develop your lore.


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PostPosted: August 29th, 2015, 11:00 pm 
Thank you, Nicholas, for your vote and for starting a Ducal bill. If one person is okay with having me on the server, that brings me hope that others will as well. I thought, however, that only three kingly votes were required (without a ducal bill), not four. Oh well . . . that's just a little more "work" for me to do . . .

In case anyone thinks I'm being tiresome with my persistence, I would like to make it known that I like writing for this forum, and I'm kind of taking it as a challenge to earn y'alls trust back. I'm not trying to guilt y'all into letting me in by doing a ton of work - this is play, not work. As a matter of fact, I was so inspired by the role-playing forum of Hermertia that I invented a game idea:

Image
Image
Image
Image

I wrote this at school. My classes are easy this semester, so I have time to do stuff like this. I'm interested in writing lore in this manner, because I like the idea of writing out stories in pen at school and then uploading them to Hermertia after, and, as I've said, I have plenty of time at school where otherwise I would be spacing out.

Usually, I keep my game ideas - I have a few - secret, so that I can develop them once I go to college and get more computer science knowledge, but I'm revealing this one for free: if someone steals the idea, that would be fine with me, because I'm not so sure whether it would work in practice, and I would be interested in watching someone else flesh it out, with their sweat not mine, to see if it even works.

By the way, here are the three games I've made in Java, two games I've made in Game Maker (I have two more which are unfortunately offline, because I considered them incomplete), and twelve games/animations/whatnots I've made in Scratch (I have two more which are unfortunately offline, because their file sizes were too big). Anyway, I'm just sharing all that so that you know about me as a person outside Minecraft, insanity, and romantic/erotic writings . . .

As you may have inferred from some of my previous posts, I was considering offering myself as a "slave" for the kings who vote for me: my first project online would be to gather a double chest full of gold blocks, give it to them, and then take my freedom. (Now, in addition, I would give a portion of gold to the Dukes of the House of Dukes.) I don't know whether that's a good idea and whether it would speed up my application at all. Y'all would probably prefer getting a productive society member than a gold slave.

Caesar, I will go back into lore mode and tell about my escape from the golden horde sometime soon. By the way, "the golden horde" was a griefing group I ran into a few times on CraftyMynes. Also, thank you Caesar and Nicholas for your continued attention.


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PostPosted: August 29th, 2015, 11:42 pm 
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In regards to slavery: we have an official law and policy against slavery, intended to prevent any new serf from being put in that position (not that that would ever realistically occur). Following on from that, it's not in anybody's best interests to willingly apply as a slave; for one, no one would recognize the arrangement.

In regards to Java games: I love these! I myself have been doing some java programming, though I wouldn't consider myself at your level yet; would you mind me asking you to share the code to your "side shooter" game, if you still have it and feel comfortable sharing it? I'd like the chance to learn from it; if you wouldn't mind.

In regards to persistence: persistence is awesome. Whenever an application stalls, we always recommend the applicant to start a new application and to just keep updating and proving their commitment and persistence. You're doing that here, and I think the reason you continue to run into resistance is due to the fact that a majority of or community had a pretty, shall we say, extreme reaction to your first application. But please do keep at it!

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